Whether Karma or Kismet?

According to the 10th card of the major arcana - the wheel of fortune - everything is cyclical...If this is the explanation, complications and curiosities arise.

Are life events completely out of one’s control? Could I have led a different life? If I had made one different choice, would it have been all different – the idea of karma? Or would they have happened one way or the other - the idea of kismet?

What happens in my life is more or less the same. The themes are constant, the context changing.

Well, this then, seems like kismet. The same themes in this life and previous ones. The goals that I sought are the same – love, happiness, equity and freedom. These are actually not as grand as they sound. When it’s not political, but personal, these are simple pursuits. Everyone desires them. My battles are also the same – struggles and rebellion towards achieving those goals.

I hurt for the same reasons – the same betrayal, the fundamentalism, the hegemony of organised religion, the patriarchy. Again, these are not grand, but are phenomena that subsume and devour my identity. Or push me to the margins, sometimes the victim, sometimes the witch, sometimes whore.

Whether it’s a young newly married woman in Celtic France, driven to suicide trying to convince the love of her life about her fidelity; or the young girl who grew up to become a cold cynic after being betrayed a hundred times over; or the pagan woman in sixteenth century Spain willing herself to die to escape from the atrocities of the Church; or the strong independent woman being thrown out of her house on grounds of religion and gender in a so-called modern cosmopolitan society; or the young intelligent attractive woman, still looking for love and acceptance.

The themes are the same. Maybe this soul is bound to undergo these same experiences, same scripts, same emotions.

Regression explains this by stating “closure”. The soul needs closure of pent up emotions, unresolved feelings, unfulfilled desires, interrupted happiness, incomplete revenge or incomplete forgiveness.

This brings us back to karma. Not necessarily only of actions, but of memories and emotions. The wheel of fortune turns to remind us of what we had done and what we need to do. The “hell” is not some fabled burning pit, but the cyclical scripts of lives. The heaven is not through some improbable pearly gates, but in breaking this cycle, transcending these scripts and finding peace.

Till then it’s a continuing debate of whether karma or kismet…

For the love of monotony!

"May you live in interesting times.." is a Chinese curse. I coudn't agree more! - with the fact that it is a curse, I mean. Well, change is good, the only constant - as the cliche goes; the ups and downs and the variety that add spice to our lives...but there's nothing more I crave than monotony. The comfort of the predictable, the straight line without blips - the sizes ranging from mole hills to mountains in my life! I know I can't take stagnation, and I feel stagnated every quarter. So I should be the the last person to say I crave monotony. The condradiction in this is evident, bordering on schizophrenia. The constant change, growth, ambition, activity, Type A personality have probably reached the peak and is now gowing down... the adrenaline rush is bound to be followed by a parasympathetic trough. That is probably what this is. A simple physiological phenomenon. Well, atleast if this is the explanation, I'm at peace. People go through mid-life crises and do things that often shake up their entire beautifully well laid out clockwork lives. The escape from monotony at any cost. The reassurances that we seek through change. Attention from a different man/woman after decades of a committed relationship reassures us of our appeal and sexuality, the change of a job or career reassures us of our skills and abilities. A crazy hairstyle sometimes is enough to reassure us. I know some women who change hairstyles right after breaking up with a boyfriend. This is for reassurance and resurgence: "I am still attractive and lovable".... (and at the same time) "this is the new me" (subtext- who will not date losers like these!!) This is ironic. Change, that shakes up and shatters the world as we know it, can be so reassuring at times. I, in my crises, want monotony. I seek it for the same reassurance and resurgence, though. The parasympathetic trough is now reached tidal proportions and is impatient to reach the stability and predictability. But this is again the same craving for change and movement from the current constant, isn't it? The schizophrenic contradictions recur...