My recent experiences have just proved that the "personal is political" - beyond doubt!
Or perhaps even the other way round. Concepts, experiences and theories that I have engaged with in an academic or ideological capacity are suddenly very real, affecting my life in a direct way.
I should perhaps start with the tribulations of renewing my passport. My passport issued previously in Guwahati had expired in April, 2010. I applied for a new passport on April 8. I am tempted to describe my horrific date with the passport office, experiencing bureaucracy at its monopolistic best, but I will not go into that recount.
Anyway, so I applied for a Bombay passport, since I have not lived in Guwahati for 10 years now, and out of those, 7 have been in Bombay. With all documents ever possible. Infact I had to wait about 6 months just so that I complete a year at the same address to make me eligible for a Bombay passport.
After the 4 stipulated days, a police constable came home at around 11 am to verify my address and the fact that I exist as a person! I was of course, not there at home in the middle of the day on a working day. But well....
He told my sister how difficult it would be to get a passport, since I am only a tenant.
The next day I took leave to meet the cop. He came over. I showed overflowing hospitality (as instructed by experienced friends!). Here a drink or money was advised. But I obviously I couldn't offer alcohol (being a woman!), neither did I feel I could offer money without getting atleast an indirect hint (although I finally did pay at a later date to get the work done).
He went through all my papers. Seemed satisfied. The only problem was the fact that I did not own the house, neither was I living at my parents' house, nor was it my husband's house! This became quite an issue. My references in the neighbourhood was my colleague who has known me for about 4 years - a 33 year old unmarried female vice president, and the other one is of my dearest friends who has known me for 7 years - a 34 year old gay man.
The cop insisted I cite references who were "married" with "family" in the vicinity... and I realised that I don't know any such people!
The fact of being married assumed a completely skewed sense of significance. The fact of knowing, or not knowing, married people who can vouch for me, compromised my credibility.
Somehow the whole process almost became a verification of my character as a woman - a single woman - than of my citizenship.
The other ordeal came from my apartment building society. Being in a conservative Muslim housing society, both me and my sister were offensive just by virtue (pun intended!!) of our existence. We didn't even have to try! No matter what clothes we wore, we would seem strangely naked - we were not veiled; we went out to work and came back at times dictated by our work not familial deadlines - that was offensive; we had friends, male friends - which was even more offensive.
One of the watchmen misbehaved first with my sister (about which I complained), and then with me when I returned one night at about 1 am to find him sleeping and him threatening to not open the gate. I did remind him, quite scathingly, about the fact that it was his job as a watchman to open the gate, irrespective of what time any of the residents came home.
The next night I returned home to find a letter STUCK on my front door (and not delivered at the doorstep in an addressed envelope like the million letters that I have received), asking my licensor to terminate my leave and license agreement. The reason cited was my altercation with the watchman - apparently I had threatened him with some unidentified men. The letter further made nasty and vile insinuations on my character as an unmarried woman.
Although in retrospect, I should have expected the housing society to support the watchman (or probably even incite him to misbehave as a coercive tactic to get rid of me), it did come as a rude shock at that moment!
I met the secretary of the society the next morning. Nothing was done - either about correcting the false incident, or against the watchman. I wrote a letter inquiring the reasons for the discrimination - why on the basis of a verbal complaint from a watchman was a judgement passed against me, and why nothing was done on the basis of my complaint against the same watchman.
But I knew these were rhetorics.
I knew there was a much larger agenda in getting rid of a woman like me - an independent unmarried woman. There were no personal reasons for this animosity, but political ones. I was, to begin with, a Hindu woman in a Muslim society. Over and above, I was not a Hindu housewife, but unmarried and unveiled. I was a constant reminder - a slap on their faces - of the symbols that they were trying to destroy and repress. I embodied all that was haraam!
Both these sets of experiences would have been avoided if I was a married woman. I realised that status in the state and the society can only be attained through prescribing to conventions and institutions. And status for an unmarried woman is never devoid of morality. By being unattached within the parameters of marriage, I give the authority to both the state and the society to pass judgement on my "moral character".
The personal, truly is political... and the political becomes too personal!
5 comments:
Sad that such things happen in Mumbai all the time. I have seen this in Bangalore and Hyderabad also. It only keeps getting worse.
Very true... I think these incidents are ubiquitous in the patriarchal society that we exist in..
and i thought mumbai was a better place to stay for women
this is so unfortunate... but such instances are not limited to mumbai.. they happen in delhi too.
Hi Anuska, I came to your blog through your Facebook profile. I completely empathize with your experience at the passport office, and it's really a bummer about the harassment at your home! I do hope things have been resolved and you do have a space you think of as "home". Living away from our families, our apartments become our havens. But I have been lucky. I lived in a completely Muslim locality and an apartment where the Muslim family who owned the entire building, lived in the house below mine. But my experience was quite contrary. I felt that because we were single, they were more accommodating towards us. They fired one watchman because he did the same thing as the guy in your story! When we had a party, it got loud, and some neighbours complained to the landlord, he simply told them that we were young and since we don't party that often, they should not make too much fuss! We were also surprised. But of course this was in Bangalore. I guess, it takes all kinds to make a world. All I want to really want to say is try not to think of it as a Muslim issue. In Mumbai, single women have always had these issues, even in localities where there are no Muslims. Many upcoming models have complained about it. It is about our society in general and not specific to people belonging to any one religion.
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